Looking for the Sun
by Annabelle Crane
Summary: Fred finds out that being alone isn't always easy *PLEASE READ & REVIEW* *Wes/Fred*


**TITLE**: Looking For The Sun  
**AUTHOR**: Annabelle  
**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own them.  I just like to write.  Don't sue, please!  
**SUMMARY**: What happenes when everyone leaves you?  
**DISTRIBUTION**: Signs Crossed, Gifted, Fan Fiction Is Fun, anyone else please ask first  
**RATING**: PG  
**THANK YOUS**: Jacquin, who got this done in record time!  
CATEGORY: SIR  
KEYWORDS: Fred/Wes

**FEEDBACK**:  Lots of it please!  Send to annabelle_felicity@hotmail.com

Looking for the Sun  
by Annabelle

The wind whipped around the hem of her sundress blowing around her knees, lifting it gently and then setting it down again. Slowly she moved through the streets not looking where she was going. Her eyes were so listless that they caused mothers to steer their children away from her, but she didn't care, or maybe she just didn't notice. It wasn't that she looked abnormal; no it was more that she acted abnormal, that she looked disturbed despite her normal average appearance, and that was what drove people from her.

She must not have noticed, because how could anyone not notice that people were jumping away from them, dashing to get out their way. Yes, that was it, she just was not paying them any heed, or she was too busy to notice. What was she doing though? The way she walked showed some strange form of determination, but what was she walking toward? What could cause someone to be so enraptured that they did not pay attention to the world around them?

Then she turned to the left and that was what made him recognize her. He could now see part of her face through the tangled mass of curls that were surrounding it and it made him want to run to her, but he stopped himself. For several moments he stood there watching her, trying to decide what to do, then she stepped into the street not seeing the truck that was rumbling toward her at an incredible speed. He had no choice; he had to do it, his feet moved before he thought about it. He watched his hand reach out, it didn't seem to belong to him, his fingers grasped onto her arm, and then he pulled her with such force that she tumbled toward him losing her balance and tipping him towards the ground with her still attached to him.

"Fred," he gasped when he was finally able to speak again. "Are you alright?"

"Fred," she seemed puzzled. Then she let out a strange giggle. "No one has called me that in ages." More giggles followed with her shaking her head. "No, that's not true, I'm lying. I'm a bad person. I'm always lying. No, no one has called me that in 12 months and 22 days, and that's the truth. You won't tell them that I lied, right? Promise?"

"It was just an expression," he gave her a stunned look. "You didn't mean anything by it."

She picked herself up and then looked down at him. "Right," she laughed. "You're right. It was just an expression. I'll tell them that. I didn't mean to lie."

"Fred are you alright?" he asked, but he wasn't talking about her almost being hit by the truck this time.

"Hmm," she reached out a hand to help him up. "Oh me? I'm fine. But why did you pull me to the ground? I was just walking. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I was just, I was. I mean I wasn't hurting anyone, was I?"

"No," he let her help him up and then he looked at her. He wanted to cry, he wanted to hug the life out of her, he wanted to shake her. Instead he said, "Here, let's sit down on the bench for a minute."

"Okay," Fred nodded. Then she looked at the man more closely. "Hey," she took a step back. "Hey, hey, hey! I know you! I do." Tilting her head she put a hand on his face. "Wesley, it's you isn't it?"

"Yes it is," he pulled at her hand. "Come on, you should sit down."

Fred let him guide her to the bench. For a few minutes she didn't look at him. She fussed with her dress, smoothing it over, trying to get it to lay the right way. Then finally she turned to him and spoke, "Why did you leave me?"

"I," Wesley was taken aback. "I…"

"Why does everyone always leave me?" She started talking, turning away from him. "First you, then Angel, then Cordelia, and Lorne. Now I'm left all alone, left looking for the sun. It's just not fair. I'm mad at you."

"Looking for the sun?" he questioned her. "Did you say sun or Gunn?" Then he shook his head. "It doesn't matter. You have every right to be mad at me."

"No," she sighed and looked down at her feet in a guilty manner. "I shouldn't be mad. I am sorry, I am a bad person. I shouldn't be mad." Then she laughed, "And no I'm not looking for Gunn. Why would I be looking for him? I mean, he's gone, gone. Very, very gone. So gone."

"What?" Wesley felt anger rise in him. "Gunn left you?"

"Well he had to," Fred gave him a look that said, of course he had to leave. "I mean everyone always leaves, except for, but everyone always leaves me. But Gunn had to. He loved the real woman. She was so pretty. I don't know where they are now, they are happy though."

Wesley nodded at Fred. He wanted to hold her again. Obviously when Gunn had left it had been too much for Fred, the woman had lost the little bit of sanity that she had gained when she came back from Pylea. That didn't matter to him though, he loved her sane or not. There was just a presence about her that begged to be loved and it was his duty to answer it. "What do you mean then? That you are looking for the sun?"

Fred started to shake her head again. "I'm not making sense again am I? Gavin is always telling me that I don't make sense a lot of the time. But Lorne, he makes sure that Gavin doesn't give me a hard time about it. He says that it doesn't matter if I make sense or not as long as I do the work that I am suppose to do the right way. And I always do it the right way. Always."

"Huh?" To say that his head was spinning would have been an understatement. "Gavin? You work for Wolfram and Hart? Lorne does too? I thought you said he left?"

"Oh he did," Fred replied. "But he came back a while back. He doesn't live with me but he comes and visits all the time to make sure that Wolfram and Hart aren't bugging my home, so that Stephen can come and go without them knowing about it. So he doesn't work for them but he talks with them. Makes sure that they treat me right."

"Stephen," Wesley let himself become sidetracked for a moment. He pushed the thoughts of Fred working for Wolfram and Hart aside for a second, 'who was Stephen', was flashing in his mind like a blazing red light. "Stephen?"

Fred laughed. "That's right, you know him as Connor, but everyone calls him Stephen now. Well everyone who knows that he is alive. Lorne and me, some other people that I don't know. But he likes to be called Stephen. Holtz gave him that name. He was another reason that Gunn left."

"Gunn left because of him."

"Yep," she clicked her tongue. "Well because I wouldn't let him kill Stephen. You see Stephen drowned Angel cause Angel killed Holtz, but we found out that really Justine killed Holtz, well after a long time of talking. Gunn wanted to kill Steve, but I told him knowing that he had killed his father, his real father, a name who loved him no matter what, was punishment enough. Gunn never forgave me for that." Fred looked down again. "It was my fault he left. I wasn't good enough, but I just couldn't. I couldn't let him kill Stephen."

Wesley touched her hand. "You were right Fred, not him. Connor, Stephen didn't need to die, and killing him would not have brought Angel back."

"Yeah," she paused. "I know you hate them, and me for working with them. I can see it in your eyes. But I didn't have a choice, what was I suppose to do? I am not like you, I'm not strong, I needed someone to take care of me, and Gavin does. He is nice to me, sometimes, and when he isn't Lorne makes him be. They all take care of me. Even Stephen. He comes to see me a lot. More than he should."

"So you are well taken care of then?" There was the faintest hint of sadness in Wesley's voice, although if you asked him he wouldn't have been able to explain to you why.

"I guess," Fred's lip quivered a little. "But I still go out, looking for the sun. I haven't found it yet."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well," Fred looked at him with her big brown eyes. They were full of wonderment and confusion. "Gavin thinks I am talking about Angel's son, that I am looking for Stephen, but I'm not. I'm just looking for the sun. S-u-n not s-o-n."

"But Fred," Wesley tried but then stopped. "I just don't understand."

"I know," she laughed. "I'm crazy. I don't make sense. The only reason I'm not locked up is cause they need me to figure out how to open portals and do physics for them." Fred gave him a worried look. "They are coming. Well Gavin is. They always come looking for me when I have been away for a while. You should go."

"You're right," Wesley stood up. "It was nice to see you again Fred."

"No," she shouted and reached out for him, but then pulled back like she had been burned. "I didn't mean it like that. You can't leave me again. Please. Everyone leaves, I just, I don't want it to happen again. Please."

His face was more than just puzzled. "What do you want me to do Fred?"

"Hide," she whispered. "Follow. You'll be able to figure it out, see how Stephen gets to me without them seeing him. Just, just don't leave me again."

"Okay." Quickly Wesley ducked behind a near by bush but it wasn't a moment too soon. Gavin Park came into sight just then. He thought it odd that Fred knew that Gavin was coming before he was even there, but Fred was different now, Wolfram and Hart could also have done something to her; put a homing device in her of some sort. If they did how would he be able to take her away from the.... Wait, he thought, would she even want to go?

"Winifred," Gavin said in condescending tone. "You didn't call."

"I don't have to," Fred snapped. Then she whimpered. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I should've called, you're right. I'm sorry."

Gavin sat down next to her. "Winifred you know we worry about you. You can go out, that's fine. But it's better if you call us so we can send someone to go with you."

"I know," Fred looked down. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"Good," Gavin took a minute to look around him. "So did you have a nice day?"

"Oh yes," Fred yawned a little. "But I'm ready to go home now."

"Okay," he nodded. "Would you like to get some food first?"

Fred stood up and shook her head. "Very tired."

"Alright," he smiled and took her arm, which made her giggle. "Let's get you home."

From where he was hiding Wesley listened to Fred babble to Gavin about the things she had seen that day. He would nod his head from time to time, or click is tongue when she said something that sounded dangerous, sometimes he would laugh but apologize when she pouted at him. It was like watching an older brother take care of his sister, but he knew that the only reason that Gavin was paying Fred any heed was because he was ordered to. Fred seemed to know that too, because she did not once mention seeing Wesley.

When they got to the car Gavin held the door open for her and she climbed in. As he closed the door Fred looked into the side mirror and got a glimpse of Wesley getting into his own car. "Gavin," she said to distract him. "How did you find me?"

"You know that," he said. "How I always find you, I asked."

"Hmm," she murmured and looked out the window. "Wait a moment. I wanna take one last look."

"Okay," Gavin smiled. "But you know you can come back anytime."

"I know," she stared, "but it won't look exactly like this ever again. It will change and I want to remember it just how it is."

Gavin didn't say anything he just watched her watch everything for a few minutes. Finally the sun started to slip lower in the sky and he felt himself become anxious. "Fred?"

"Oh sorry," she smiled dreamily at him. "I'm ready now." At his nod she turned back to her window and looked at the side mirror every now and then during the silent drive back to her home. She could just make out Wesley's car a few blocks behind him. He was so smart; she wasn't sure why she was worried that he would get caught cause she knew she shouldn't be.

As they turned right onto her street she saw Lorne standing outside of her small townhouse. Fred squealed and undid her seat belt, reaching for the door handle as the car slowed. She jerked the door open before it came to a complete halt causing Gavin to yell at her, "Winifred! Stop!"

"Lorne," Fred jumped out of the car and ran to him. She threw her arms around him. "Lorne! You're back. I thought you wouldn't come back until tomorrow."

"Hey sweetie," he hugged her back. "I got a call. What is this I hear about you wandering around all by your lonesome?"

"Winifred Burkle," Gavin scowled at her. "You wait for the car to stop before you get out of it."

"I know," Fred looked down at the ground. "But I was just so excited. Lorne has been gone for almost a week now, you know that."

"Ah come off it Park," Lorne sneered. "She's fine."

"But she might not have been," he retorted.

"Gavin," Fred's voice was soft and a little needy.

He looked at her and sighed. "Yes Winifred."

"I," she started but stopped. "I just wanna know, will you, would you, if I..."

"What is it sweetie?" Lorne put a hand on her shoulder.

"Gavin, if I was gone, would you miss me?" Fred looked at him with her big brown eyes.

The lawyer hadn't expected that at all. He stared back at her not sure what to say. It shouldn't have been a hard question but it was. Really he should have been just able to answer it, but there was one thing that prevented him from doing so. Was he there because he wanted to be or because he was being forced to, that simple question stood in the way. It was at times like these that Gavin truly wondered if Fred was as crazy as everyone made her out to be. "Of course I would," he finally said.

"Good," she gave him a quick hug. "Bye Gavin!"

Her embrace was so quick he almost didn't have time to respond but he did. "Bye," he half whispered. Then he backed away, "Should I see you to the door?"

"You can just go," Lorne glared at him. "She isn't going anywhere."

"Lorne," she hit him. "It's fine Gavin, Lorne is here. He'll watch me now."

"Okay," he smiled at her. "I'll see you tomorrow, on time."

"Yes," she rolled her eyes and giggled. Fred watched him carefully go around to the driver's side of his car and felt Lorne tug on her arm. "Wait," she held up her hand. "I wanna see him off."

"Why?" Lorne looked at her oddly.

Gavin waited for them to move away for a moment but then saw Fred waving at him frantically. "Crazy girl," he shook his head, waved back, and then started the engine of his car.

"We have to make sure he leaves," Fred said softly to Lorne once the car started.

"Stephen?"

"No." Fred watched the car round the corner and then turned around. "Come on then," she waved Lorne to her side.

"Sugar plum," Lorne said in a baffled voice. "Why were we waiting to see if Gavin left?"

"I'm tired," Fred yawned. "I wanna go to bed now."

Lorne shook his head at her, "If you don't want to tell me just say so." She didn't say anything and kept heading for the door. "Alright then. Do you want something to eat first?"

"No," Fred took a key from under her doormat. "I just wanna go to bed. You can lock me up once I'm in bed if you want."

"Okay," he was still confused by her. She had never offered to be locked up, normally she had to be forced into her room and put to bed. Then he would have to wait an hour to make sure she didn't try to get out again, something Wolfram and Hart stipulated. They wanted to make sure that their investment was safe. He thought it wasn't necessary but it was part of the deal they made so that Fred could keep some of her privacy, and not have her whole home bugged. "I'll just check for any new technology while you get ready."

Locking the door behind her Fred walked into the kitchen and looked at the small fish bowl on the counter. "Night Gilbert," she said to the red fish, and then she put her key down and walked out towards the stairs to go up to her bedroom. "I'll be waiting."

"Alright sweets," Lorne called over his shoulder as he walked around the small living room and listened for any small electronic devices. "I trust those people about as far as I can throw them."

Fred laughed at him and then opened the door to her room. She quickly walked over to her window and looked out. Wesley was in her back yard. After picking up a small stone she unlocked the window and threw it at him so he would look up at her. She pointed to something and saw him nod. Then she shut the window and raced to get ready for bed before Lorne came upstairs. As he knocked on the door Fred scooted herself under the covers. "Come in," she called out in a muffled voice.

"Hey there," Lorne walked in and looked around for a minute. After he was satisfied that Wolfram and Hart hadn't tampered with anything he asked, "You all set?"

"Yep," she spoke through a yawn. "See you tomorrow Lorne. And you don't have to wait. I promise I won't go out."

Half sighing, half laughing he agreed. "I know you do. I have a few things I have to take care of anyway. I trust you to stay here. Goodnight."

"'Night," her voice was so sleepy that the word barely sounded right. Lorne laughed again and then closed the door. He then flipped the deadbolt on the outside of the door. She would be fine on her own for one night. Besides, they had just changed the lock, there was no way she would be able to get out; she never figured the lock out on the first night.

Fred kept her eyes closed as she listened for the bolt to click. Then she waited for him to walk away from her door. Padded footsteps told her that he was going downstairs. Quietly she crept across the floor and put her ear to the door. She strained as hard as she could to hear the front door open, then close, and then the lock to be turned. Not being easily tricked she waited five minutes to hear if there was any other noise, there wasn't. She dashed to the window again and threw it open.

"Wesley," she whispered. "Wesley?"

"Here," he waved to her from the ground.

"It's safe now," she told him then backed away from the window and shut it. Fred went to her door and listened. After a few minutes she heard the familiar fall of his footsteps and she giggled. It was odd how after all this time she knew the sound.

He tapped softly at her door, "Fred?"

"It's locked," she said. "You'll see a small panel to the left, pull on the tab and the key is inside."

Wesley looked to his left and sure enough there was a tab sticking out just enough for him to pinch between his forefinger and his thumb. He yanked on it and the panel fell open to reveal a small key hanging from a ring that was placed on a nail inside. For a moment he just stared then he reached in and took out the key. "They lock you in?" he asked.

"Yeah," Fred giggled. "I'm a bad person. I try to get out. Well I used to. They wouldn't mind if I was just walking around downstairs, but when I go outside, well they don't want me to get lost. But I'm always figuring out how to get out. Lorne says that I am too smart for locks."

"But why do you keep trying to get out?"

"I need to find the sun," she said plainly. "Please unlock the door."

"I don't know Fred," Wesley was starting to have second thoughts. Lorne had clearly locked her in there, and he wouldn't have done so if it weren't for her own good. Added to the fact that Fred did not seem to be entirely sane.

"Why not?" Fred's voice quivered. "I get so bored in here. I've read all the books five times, there isn't even a TV, not that I would watch it if there was one, I don't get a computer except at work, there is no phone, but they did put a panic button in, that was Gavin's idea. He wanted to make sure that I could get to someone in case something happened, like I fell out of bed and cracked my head on the side table, but if I did would I really be able to hit a panic button? I mean wouldn't I just be lying on the floor unconscious until Lorne came the next morning to let me out?"

Wesley was about to reply when he heard something behind him. "Fred be quite," he whispered. "There's someone else in the house."

"No there isn't," Fred laughed. "There's not someone one."

"Fred," Wesley's voice was harsh. But he barely had time to get the word out before something crashed over his head. He gasped in pain.

"I told there wasn't someone in the house," Fred giggled. "It's just Stephen."

Stephen looked down at the body on the floor and tugged a little at the bag slung across his chest. "He'll be out for awhile," he took the key and unlocked the door. "Sorry I'm late."

Fred stepped out and looked down. "Now Stephen," she sighed. "Did you really have to knock him out? Couldn't you've just talked with him? He's not a bad person, really."

"What?" he looked pained. "I thought he was, I mean it's the middle of the night Winifred. He's in your house."

"I was talking to him," Fred scolded. "It's very rude to knock people out while someone is talking to them. And please stop calling me Winifred, I have decided I don't like that name."

"Well what should I call you," he laughed at her. "Winie? Sweetie? Auntums?"

"Ugh, no!" Fred scrunched up her face. "Call me Fred. That's what everyone used to call me."

"I thought you didn't want that anymore," Stephen almost whispered. "Because of… Well I mean you just told us not to call you that when you started to work for Wolfram and Hart. We all understood why."

"I want to be called Fred now," she repeated. "Here, help me get him off the ground. We have to get going."

"We don't have a car," Stephen reminded her. "Remember we weren't going to go anywhere until I got us a car."

Digging around in Wesley's pocket, Fred pulled out some keys and held them up. "We have one now."

"But I haven't learned how to drive yet," the young man protested.

Fred shrugged, "I know how to."

He fidgeted a little. He was nervous now. "We don't even know where he parked and Wolfram and Hart could be outside watching."

"He parked two blocks to the right," Fred giggled. "It's something he would do when he was staking out people. He told me all about it."

"You can't drive," Stephen finally said firmly. "You aren't… Well, you just can't."

"No," Fred pouted at him. "I wanna go tonight. We are going. I hate it here. You promised. You said we could go when we had a car. We have a car. And when Wesley wakes up he can help us too!"

"How do you know that he'll wanna help us?"

"Because," Fred bit her lip, "he always helped me. Even when he shouldn't have. Even when I was a bad person to him."

"Winifred," Stephen started but at her look he cleared his throat. "Fred," he corrected himself. "You aren't a bad person, you never were a bad person. You have to believe that."

"I can't," she didn't look at him. "I just can't." There was silence and then she looked at him with a glimmer in her eyes. "Wanna go!"

"Alright," he laughed at her. "We're going, we're going. But do we really have to take him with us?"

"Conner!" Fred scolded him. She only used his birth name when he did something really awful, or at least that she thought was awful.

"I'm just kidding," he sighed. "I know better than that. We can take your little friend with us if you like. But he better not slow us down."

"He won't," Fred went to one side of Wesley while Conner stood on the other side. They lifted him between them and made their way out into the night. Ducking around the dark sewer system they navigated their way towards Wesley car, where, once there, they managed to get Wesley out of the sewer with much pulling and pushing.

"That only took a half an hour," Stephen groaned once they were inside the car.

"Shh," Fred held up her hand. She looked at the steering wheel. "There are just so many buttons."

"You do know how to drive this?" he gave her a worried look.

"Yep," Fred giggled and turned the key. The car started to jolt. "Oops, that wasn't right."

"Oh god," Stephen moaned. "I must be crazy to let you talk me into this."

She clicked her tongue at him. "Don't use the "C" word," she frowned at him, then pushed down the gas and they shot forward so quickly that Stephen was pushed back into his seat.

Hours passed by, money was spent on gas, food was purchased, but one thing did not change, and this disappointed Stephen. He was hoping against hope that as they got further away from Los Angeles that Fred might to start to show some signs of regaining sanity. When they were in the house she was almost normal. It was almost like talking with her before Gunn left. But she had reverted a little every now and then. Now she was babbling about nothing. A couple of times he had to warn her about a nearby car, or something of the like. Finally he got fed up, she obviously wasn't well enough to drive, and after a few failed tries and lots of her insane giggles he managed to get the car started and to maneuver it.

"I still don't understand why I couldn't have driven," Fred pouted in a childlike manner. "I'm better at it than you are."

He sighed, it was at times like these when it was the hardest to be around her. When she acted like a four year old to get attention. "Why don't you go in the back and get some sleep," he told her.

"Okay," Fred started to unbuckle her seatbelt but then stopped. "Hey!"

"What?" he covered his smile.

"I can't go back there!"

"Why not?"

"Because," she started. "Cause," she tried again. "I just can't, okay!"

"Hmm," Stephen smirked at her. "I wonder."

"Sleepy now," Fred changed the subject and curled into the window. "Just don't crash okay. I feel like keeping all of my red and white blood cells, my bones in place, at least for tonight. Not that I would mind a small cut, just a little one though. A little cut never hurt anyone, well at least now a days anyway, and-"

"Sleep," he ordered her and then laughed as he kept his eyes on the road. Stephen really had no idea how much further they would have to go before it was safe. He half hoped that the man in the back would wake up soon, so at least he could drive, and if he didn't want to then Fred would make him, of that much Stephen was sure of.

---

Wesley woke hours later. His head was pounding. In the front he heard soft breathing and saw Conner, or rather Stephen behind the wheel of his car. He couldn't decide what to do. If he tried to take control of the car he might end up getting them all killed, after all he had no clue if Stephen could actually drive. They were on a highway by the looks of it, so opening up the door and rolling out was not an option. The only thing left to do was to speak up, so he cleared his throat.

"Ah," Stephen looked in the mirror at him. "It took you long enough. It's been forever, we're just about to hit the US boarder."

"Where pray tell are we going?" Wesley asked him.

"Vancouver, just for the weekend though," Stephen said. "At least that's what we are telling the boarder patrol."

"And how do you plan to get past them with no ID?" Wesley asked.

"Check the bag," he said. "Got this stuff set up weeks ago. We didn't know when we would be able to go."

Wesley picked up the bag and inside were two sets of identification. One said Christopher Samuel Walker, the other Geneva Samantha Walker, with small pictures of Stephen and Fred in the proper place, and they weren't even California ID's, they were from New Mexico. "How did you?"

"Took me months to find a place. And getting hers was hard cause I couldn't very well bring her with me to the guy."

"What about me?"

"Well Wolfram and Hart aren't going to be looking for you," Stephen laughed. "Are they?"

"They might," Wesley winced at the memory of his one night with Lilah.

Stephen thought for a moment. "She'll come up with something," he jerked his thumb toward Fred. "She always does. Besides it was her idea to bring you. I just wanted to dump you in the nearest parking lot and get on our way."

"Hmm," Wesley nodded. "Remind me to thank her when she wakes up." They were silent for a while and then Wesley finally decided that enough was enough, he needed answers. "What's wrong with her?"

"Well," Stephen looked over at the woman who had been the only person that he could really trust since he found out about Justine. "The Doctors say it's stress. They put her on a bunch of pills that are supposed to make her better. Lorne knows more about it, but he says that the pills they were giving her weren't for stress, they were to control her, bend her will."

"I wouldn't put it past them," he grumbled. "I don't doubt they would give her something that would make her even more psychotic."

Stephen huffed. "I hate them," he gripped the wheel tightly. "If I could kill everyone of them I would. She doesn't need this, not after what she has already been though. When Gunn left I wanted to take her away, but she wouldn't go, and Lorne didn't think it was such a good idea. Now all she does is tell everyone that she's looking for the sun."

Wesley stared at him. "What does that mean?"

The young man shook his head. "The only think I can think is that she might mean happiness," he shrugged. "The only people she hasn't lost are Lorne and myself, and I don't really count because she took me in before I took her."

Leaning back into his seat Wesley simply stared out his window for a while. He didn't know what to say, or if there was anything to say. Then he thought of something. "What about Lorne?"

"He doesn't know," Stephen shrugged again. "Winifred, I mean Fred, wanted to tell him. But I didn't think it was such a great idea. He trusts me more than he does Gavin, but not much, and he lets me visit her but that's only because she told him to. The only reason he doesn't tell them about me is because he worries about what it would do to her if Wolfram and Hart ever caught me."

Wesley nodded slowly at the words that were being said but he wasn't really listening. He was sitting at an awkward angle so that he could watch the small fragile woman curled up in the front seat. So many thoughts were running through his head, how were they going to care for her, where would they live, how would they get money, but the foremost thought was how were they going to be sure that she didn't really need the medication that had been left behind in Los Angeles. "We need to take her to a doctor," he finally said.

"We can't," Stephen protested. "Our cover will be shot."

"She needs to see one," Wesley snapped. Then he claimed. "We'll find a way. There are people who will be discreet, we just have to find them."

"It sounds like you have done this before."

Wesley did not answer him. All of his worries from before had changed, in one moment everything about his life was gone, and now he had to start all over again. He reached out and touched Fred's face. "If I could choose anyone to start my life with again I wouldn't choose anyone but you," he whispered to her.

Pretending not to hear him, Stephen kept his eyes on the road. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have him along after all. Besides Fred was normally right about people, and about who she could trust. One time, a very long time ago, she told him in a brief moment of sanity that she never really trusted Gunn, that maybe that's why he left her. Of course he had told her that wasn't true at all, Gunn left because he was a jerk. He just hoped that this Wesley person wouldn't do the same thing, because if he did there was nothing on this earth that would prevent Stephen from killing him.

---

Fred sat outside on the porch of her Canadian house and angled her chair so that she could watch the sun set on the lake before her. It was really so beautiful here, and every evening was different. The water would move a different way, the shades of red and orange would be slightly different, and this made her happy because it meant that in the two years that she had been living here she had never once seen the same sunset. She smiled dreamily and listened to the faint sound of footsteps come from behind her.

"Fred," a soft male voice called to her.

"Hmm," she turned slightly to look at Wesley.

"That was Connor on the phone."

She giggled. "It's just so odd to hear him go by that name. I'm not used to it. Stephen, he's been Stephen for so long, then he was Chris, but now it's back to Connor again. It's like one big circle.

Wesley sat down in a chair next to hers. "Yes, it is." He looked at her trying to figure out what she was thinking. "He'll be back a little later tonight than he thought. He didn't want us to worry."

"That was nice of him," Fred looked back at the water. "Look Wesley, the geese have come back."

"Yeah," he sighed. The last few months had been hard. First she had gone through withdrawal, which had been the most painful thing that he had ever witnessed, and now she didn't really seemed that changed. There were moments where she seemed normal and coherent, but most of the time she was like how she was in LA, a rambling, babbling, nervous woman, who often woke crying and screaming at night.

"Wesley," Fred murmured.

"Yes Fred."

"I think I've found it, or almost found it."

He turned to look at her but she was still looking out over the lake. "Found what?"

"The sun."

{"The End," Fred said with many giggles}


End file.
